09 March 2017

Harrison's Birth Story

My sweet baby Harrison was born at 8:25am on Friday February 24, 2017. It was not at all what I expected, and almost nothing went as we planned - but, in the end, it was all worth it!

On the morning of Thursday, February 23rd, Christian and I were getting ready to head to our weekly doctor's appointment. I was about to start brushing my teeth when my water broke in pretty dramatic fashion. My first thought was...oh crap...did I just pee myself?? I called Christian to investigate and we immediately called our doctor. Because I lost so much fluid, so fast, they recommended that we make our way to the hospital asap. 

When we arrived, and checked in, the OB determined that I was still only 1cm dilated - and having zero contractions, it was recommend that my labor be induced. My original birth plan was to have as natural a labor as possible, so I tried to fight back on this. But, because my fluid levels were so low, which could have lead to an infection, I finally agreed. 

When I was taken to the birthing suite, I was overwhelmed with happy excitement, knowing that soon I would be meeting my little guy. And the doctor on call at that time was sure that my little guy would be there by the end of the night! I was beyond excited!! As they started the oxytocin drip, I patiently waited to feel contractions. But, I felt basically nothing...just a little tightening, but nothing that would stop me from having a conversation. 
So, the OB upped the dosage. 

By about 7pm, when I was checked again, I was still only 1.5cm dilated and feeling zero pain, despite being told that the synthetic oxytocin contractions would be very painful. I obviously just thought I was some kind of birth rockstar! Like, what was everyone talking about - this was a cake walk! That was until about 10pm, when I was checked again by the Head-OB. He discovered that my embryonic sack had actually not fully ruptured (ummm, what???). Before I even knew what was happening, the OB ruptured the sack with what looked like a knitting needle. And, before he even left the room my labor was kicked into intense overdrive. Because the synthetic oxytocin was being upped and upped, I was in so much pain I couldn't stand up and was shaking uncontrollably. The only word I could muster was epidural.

My sweet husband had to physically hold me, because I couldn't control the shaking from the pain. He also told me later that they attempted the epidural at least once before being successful. But, I was in so much pain that I couldn't feel it at all. As I felt the ice-cold epidural going in, I still couldn't stop shaking, and the pain of the contractions were so intense that I couldn't make a sound. I progressed from 1.5cm to 7cm in less than an hour and a half, and my contractions were coming so fast, with no breaks. I was exhausted in minutes. Given all I was experiencing, I was so lucky that my little guy showed zero signs of distress. After several more hours of intense contractions, I was finally at 10cm and ready to push! I had made it, and my little guy was almost here!

I started pushing, and was told I was making great progress. But after 2 straight hours it appeared that we were getting nowhere. All of a sudden there were more doctors in the room and I was being told that further interventions would be needed. How was this possible?

My options were a forceps birth or a c-section. Neither of which seemed ideal. As I was dead set on having a vaginal birth, I immediately said I wanted to try forceps. But, when I said that, the OB and my GP listed all of the risks, which included a possible brain hemorrhage for the baby. As soon as I heard those words I knew that I really only had one option: a c-section. And, then I started to cry my eyes out. I was exhausted. I was emotional. And, I felt like such a failure. Although my husband, the OB's, my GP, and the nurses tried to console me, I literally could not stop crying.

I just closed my eyes, as they wheeled me to the OR. 

Inside the OR it was so bright and so cold that I felt scared. I still couldn't stop crying, so I closed my eyes, gripped my husband's hand and focused on the whole thing being over and holding my little guy. After what felt like an eternity I finally heard the sound I was dying to hear for the last 24 hours: my precious little one crying. I was just overcome with emotion. He was finally here, and now in my arms!

Although exhausted, my lower half still numb, and the rest of my body still shaking from the painkillers, once in the post-op recovery room, my little guy in my arms, the events of the past day started melting away. I inspected his fingers and toes, stared deeply into his eyes and said: "hi lovely, I'm your momma." And, just like that my world changed.

I was really hoping for one of those pretty post birth photos, but this is what I looked like! Super, almost too, honest. But, hope you guys like the photos :)


1 comment

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